Escape to Fairytale Germany: Hotel Nummerhof Awaits
Escape to Fairytale Germany: Hotel Nummerhof Awaits - My Messy, Honest Review (and why you NEED to go!)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I just got back from the Hotel Nummerhof in Germany, and let me tell you… it was an experience. They call it "Escape to Fairytale Germany," and honestly? They're not wrong. But fairytales, as we all know, aren't always perfectly polished. This review? Definitely not. It's going to be messy, honest, and full of the kind of opinions you won’t get anywhere else. Prepare for a rollercoaster, folks!
First Impressions: Beauty and Bells (Some Annoying Ones)
Arriving at the Nummerhof genuinely took my breath away. Imagine a storybook village, nestled in rolling hills, with the hotel itself resembling a gingerbread house dipped in luxury. (Think: Instagram goals achieved before you even unpack). Accessibility? They say it's there, and they do have an elevator (phew!), but navigating the charming, cobblestone-y paths around the property, with my friend who uses a wheelchair proved…challenging. (Accessibility: Mostly okay, but bring your patience and maybe a Sherpa. Definitely call in advance to clarify specific routes!)
And then there's the church bells. Oh. My. God. They chime. A lot. They chime early. (Consider yourself warned, light sleepers.) But then again, maybe that's part of the 'fairytale' charm? (A charming, sleep-deprived charm.)
Rooms: Cozy, Comfy… and Did I Mention Free Wi-Fi?! (Hallelujah!)
Our room? Lovely. (Available in All Rooms: Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.) We had a beautiful view, a ridiculously comfortable bed (seriously, I think I'm still dreaming about it), and… FREE WI-FI in all rooms! (Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!) This might seem mundane, but trust me, after the roaming charges I’ve racked up, it felt like a personal gift from the travel gods! And the (Additional Toilet) was a life saver especially after all the beer I had at the Happy Hour.
Dining: A Feast for the Eyes (and the Stomach… mostly!)
The food… okay, the food was a tale of two experiences. The breakfast buffet (Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant), (Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service) was epic. Western breakfast overflowing with pastries, fresh fruit (omg the berries!), and every kind of wurst imaginable. I may have, ahem, indulged. However, the restaurants (Restaurants, A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant) were a little hit or miss. Sometimes divine (Asian cuisine in restaurant) and sometimes… well, let's just say I wished I'd packed a sandwich. The Happy Hour (Happy hour, Bar, Poolside bar), thankfully, was consistently excellent. And the coffee shop (Coffee shop, Coffee/tea in restaurant) was a lifeline, especially after those early church bells!
A Note on Safety: (Cleanliness and safety, Anti-viral cleaning products, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment) I have to say, I felt incredibly safe. They were seriously on top of the hygiene game. From the hand sanitiser everywhere, to the staff wearing masks. They've really gone above and beyond to ensure your safety.
Wellness and Relaxation: Where the Magic Happens (Mostly)
Alright, let's talk about the good stuff. The spa… the spa was dreamy. (Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]). I succumbed to a massage (or three), and it was pure bliss. The pool with a view? Stunning. The sauna and steam room? Perfect for melting away any remaining stress. I spent a solid afternoon just floating in the outdoor pool, looking up at the mountains. Total rejuvenation. They also have a Gym/fitness.
Things To Do: Beyond the Gingerbread
The Numeroff knows it's an escape and does its best to deliver on the experience: (Audio-visual equipment for special events, Babysitting service, Bicycle parking, Business facilities, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Concierge, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center) They do have (Taxi service and Valet parking) for a price, but the Car park (Car park [on-site], Car park [free of charge]) is free, which is always a plus! While the town itself offers the charm of a fairytale, I was also looking for activities.
The Service, the Staff: (Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Front desk [24-hour], Laundry service, Luggage storage, Room service [24-hour]) and they do a good job. The staff were also super-friendly and helpful, always ready with a smile and a recommendation.
For the Kids : (Babysitting service, Couple's room, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal) They also have a kids' menu!
Downsides (Because, Let's Be Real):
- The Bells (I already said it, but it needs repeating). Bring earplugs!
- The Sometimes-Shaky Restaurant Experience. Stick to the buffet, and you'll be fine.
- Pets Allowed Unavailable: No cute puppy allowed :( but they should be!
Overall Impression: Would I Go Back? (Absolutely!)
Despite the minor hiccups, the Hotel Nummerhof is a truly special place. It's a chance to disconnect, recharge, and soak up some serious fairytale vibes. It's romantic, it's whimsical, and it's definitely an escape. If you're looking for a unique getaway, book it. Just, you know, pack earplugs.
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Here's My Pitch to You… Don't Just Dream, ESCAPE!
Tired of the same old vacations? Craving something magical, something… different? Then it’s time to ESCAPE to Fairytale Germany at the Hotel Nummerhof!
Here's what you'll get:
- Storybook Charm: Imagine waking up in a gingerbread house, surrounded by breathtaking mountain scenery. (Hotel chain, Proposal spot, Room decorations, Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms)
- Relaxation Reimagined: Melt your stress away with a luxurious spa experience featuring massages, saunas, and a stunning pool. (Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor])
- Culinary Adventures: From the epic breakfast buffet to the delectable dishes (and the consistently awesome
Okay, buckle up, buttercup, because this isn't your grandma's itinerary. We're going deep into the soul of Hotel Nummerhof, Germany, and it’s gonna be messy, joyful, and probably involve me getting lost at least once. Prepare for a journey, not a tightly wound travel brochure.
Hotel Nummerhof: A Reckoning (and Hopefully, a Delight)
Day 1: Arrival – Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Luggage Carousel
Morning (aka, the "Hurry Up and Wait" Shuffle):
- 7:00 AM: Wake up. Or, try to. My internal alarm clock seems to be set to "permanently on snooze." The good news? Coffee is brewing. The bad news? I'm pretty sure I packed seven pairs of socks and one pair of sensible shoes. (Note to self: sensible shoes are a myth.)
- 9:00 AM: Airport madness. The usual suspects: frantic people, crying babies, and the existential dread that hits me every time I realize I've probably left something crucial behind. Passport? Check. Wallet? Check. Sanity? …Debatable.
- 11:00 AM: Finally on the plane! Pop a Dramamine, stare out the window, and try to appreciate the tiny, shrinking world below – a world I'm leaving behind for a fleeting moment to seek something, anything, new.
- 3:00 PM (ish - Germany time, who even knows?): We land! Ah, the glorious German efficiency of… the luggage carousel. I watch it for eons, my own suitcase a phantom limb. Finally, success! (A small triumph, but a triumph nonetheless.)
Afternoon: The Hotel and the Heartbreak (of a Bad Wi-Fi Password)
- 4:00 PM: Taxi to Hotel Nummerhof. The drive reminds me I forgot to brush my hair. It will have to wait, the mountains call me!
- 4:30 PM: The Hotel! It's… charming. A little creaky, but in a good way, like a favorite aunt with a wicked sense of humor. The air smells faintly of woodsmoke and… possibility? I can handle this.
- 5:00 PM: Check In. A friendly, but slightly stoic, receptionist (German, yes?) gives me my key and sends me on my way. The room is a bit small, but the balcony! That's all I need.
- 5:30 PM: Wi-Fi password. The password is a cryptic combination of numbers and letters. Fail. I think I'm going to cry. I need to share my joy (or, more realistically, my meltdowns) with the world! This is the internet age.
- 6:00 PM: I finally figure out the Wi-Fi! I scream into the ether of the internet. "I am free!" Well, free to post photos of the view. And, perhaps, my breakfast.
Evening: Dinner and the Dawn of a Beautiful Friendship (Maybe)
- 7:30 PM: Dinner at the hotel restaurant. I order something that vaguely translates as "forest stew." I'm hoping it's magical.
- 8:00 PM: The stew is… substantial. And delicious. I'm alone, which is good because I can people-watch guilt-free. A couple, the obvious honeymooners, are holding hands; their eyes light up, something I definitely remember from my last relationship. I wonder if they'll still feel that way a year from now. Or, you know, a week from now when the honeymoon bliss wears off.
- 9:30 PM: Stroll around the hotel grounds. The stars. Oh my God, the stars! I almost forget I'm traveling alone. Almost.
10:00 PM: A Moment of Quiet
- I stand on the balcony, breathing in the chilly mountain air. I find myself talking to the trees, which is a little bit batty, even for me. I'm tired, but in a good way. Hope lingers, a hesitant, fragile thing.
Day 2: The Mountain (or, the Day I Almost Became a Mountaineer)
Morning: Breakfast and the Great Hiking Debate:
- 7:30 AM: Breakfast. The buffet is a monument to German engineering: everything is beautifully arranged – and delicious. I load up on pastries, making a silent promise to do some serious hiking. (Spoiler alert: I won’t.)
- 8:30 AM: I gather my backpack, which includes all the essentials and an insane amount of water bottles. I have no idea what I'm doing, so it's going to be fun, yes?
9:00 AM: Hiking! Or, attempted hiking. The trail is stunning, and the air is crisp and invigorating. It’s all beauty. I feel alive. Then, after 15 minutes, my legs feel like they are going to fall off. I don’t know if I went too far. I’m going to cry.
Noon: I give up. Maybe I'm not meant to be a hiker, and that’s okay. I sit on a rock, eat a sandwich, and stare at the mountains. Okay, maybe I'm meant to be a viewer of mountains.
Afternoon: The Alpine Cheese Delusion:
- 1:00 PM: Back to the hotel, defeated but not broken. I get a massage -- a very necessary indulgence, after my "hike."
- 3:00 PM: I order cheese at the Hotel Restaurant. I would die for this cheese. I spend the entire afternoon eating cheese and drinking wine. My worries melt away.
- 6:00 PM: I fall asleep in a sunbeam.
Day 3: The Village (or, The Day I Got My Own Adventure)
Morning: The Village:
- 9:00 AM: I decide I am going to go to the village, which is a whole new world.
- 9:30 AM: This town is even more beautiful than the hotel. Everything is so well kept! What a joy.
- 10:00 AM: I buy trinkets. I buy a hat. I eat strudel.
- 1:00 PM: The hotel seems a million miles away. This is the best day of my life.
Afternoon: An Unexpected Encounter:
- 4:00 PM: As I am admiring a clock, I hear a voice from behind, speaking fluent English. I turn around and there is an older woman with kind eyes.
- 4:30 PM: We talk forever. She tells me stories about her love life. She tells me about her time living in Paris. This is what I needed. No more worries.
- 6:00 PM: We make plans to see each other. The best day of my life, truly.
Day 4: Departure (or, The Sad Reality of Leaving)
Morning:
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. I eat more pastries. I don't care.
- 10:00 AM: I pack. I can't believe it is over. I feel so sad, but happy.
- 11:00 AM: I hug the woman, who I now consider my friend. I can't believe I'm leaving.
Afternoon:
- 1:00 PM: I say goodbye to the hotel. It feels like a friend. A creaky, quirky, beautiful friend.
- 2:00 PM: Airport.
- 5:00 PM: Plane, heading back home. I feel so sad to be leaving, but so happy to have been. I will be back.
Final Thoughts:
- I have no regrets.
- The world is beautiful and sometimes, it is okay to eat cheese and watch mountains.
- I'm going to miss the Hotel Nummerhof.
- On the plane, I begin to plan my return.
Hold up... "Escape to Fairytale Germany"? Sounds a bit... much, doesn't it? What's the lowdown on this Hotel Nummerhof place?
Okay, yeah, "Escape to Fairytale Germany" is pretty dramatic. Honestly, I thought it was a bit cheesy too. But, the Hotel Nummerhof? It’s in the Black Forest. *Proper* Black Forest. Think cuckoo clocks, gingerbread houses (seriously, they have them!), and enough rolling hills to make a hobbit jealous. It's supposed to be all… medieval and charming. I *say* supposed to be.
And, like, is it actually a *hotel*? Or some sort of themed… thing… masquerading as one?
It's a hotel. Technically. Rooms, beds, the whole shebang. But, and this is a big but, the whole vibe is… *immersive*. Like, they really leaned into the fairytale thing. Think exposed beams, heavy wooden furniture, and more floral wallpaper than you can shake a dirk at. I swear, in my room, I half-expected to see a forest spirit peeking out from behind the curtains. Which, I’ll admit, would’ve been pretty cool, even if a little terrifying at 3 AM.
Booking it… easy peasy lemon squeezy? Or more like trying to navigate a labyrinth blindfolded?
Okay, so I’m not saying it was a *nightmare*. But, their website… let’s just say it was a tad… antiquated. I’m talking GeoCities vibes. I think I spent two hours just *trying* to figure out which room had the best view, or if they even *had* a view! And the pricing? It felt like they pulled it out of a hat. "Ah yes, for the 'Enchanted Gnome' Suite, that'll be... a dragon's hoard of gold coins, or, you know, 500 euros." (Just kidding… mostly). Also, it took three emails to confirm the reservation, and then another to change my arrival time by an hour because I'm chronically late. So, yeah, lemon squeezy? Not exactly.
Did you get the 'Enchanted Gnome' Suite? 'Cause, I’m already picturing tiny furniture and a map to buried treasure.
Ha! No, I didn’t. Tempting though it was. I went for the "Huntsman's Haven" or whatever. In retrospect, it was probably the most normal room. Which... might say something about my life choices, now that I think about it. Anyway, no tiny furniture, no buried treasure. Just a slightly creaky bed and a view of... other buildings. Still, the thought of a "gnome's hoard of gold coins" has me wondering if I’ll ever get out of debt.
So, the rooms. Tell me. Are they actually *magical*? Spill the beans!
Okay, hold on now. Magical? That’s stretching it. They're… *themed*. Very themed. My Huntsman's Haven had a lot of wood, a lot of dark colors, and a fireplace (non-functioning, sadly). There were, I kid you not, little faux antlers above the bed! I mean, I appreciated the commitment, but after a long trip, I just wanted a comfy bed and a decent shower. The shower, by the way, was… adequate. Not terrible, not amazing. Just… there. Unlike a good shower, sadly. You know, the kind where the water pressure is perfect and the water is so hot you feel like you're melting into a puddle of happiness. The Nummerhof? Close, but no cigar.
Describe a particularly memorable room detail (good or bad).
Okay, this is where it gets real. There was this *one* little detail in my room that completely threw me. It was a small, wooden box on the bedside table. It had a little latch, and I was pretty sure it was full of something interesting. Maybe a piece of jewelry? A tiny, antique compass? Nope. It was filled with… earplugs. Earplugs! Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the thoughtfulness (because the hotel *is near the road and you can actually hear traffic*!). But, it felt like a deflation of any fairytale atmosphere. "Here, princess, try to have sweet dreams despite the incessant rumbling of the passing cars."
Right, the food! Is it all hearty, Black Forest fare? Or just, you know, microwaved schnitzel?
Okay, I have STRONG feelings about the food. Breakfast was… fine. Standard continental stuff: bread, cheese, some mystery meats (that I cautiously avoided), and, of course, coffee. The coffee was… functional. It woke me up. Which is what mattered. Dinner, though? That’s where things got interesting. They had a restaurant with a medieval-ish theme! The lighting was dark, and the waitresses wore… something. I can’t remember exactly what, but it was something themed. The main thing is: it actually did have some great dishes. The pork knuckle was phenomenal! The Black Forest cake was *divine*. I almost died from happiness while eating it. I wouldn't go as far to say it's Michelin Star worthy, but it was certainly tasty. I just ate a lot.
Did you find any secret menus? Or hidden grottoes of deliciousness?
Sadly, no secret menus. No hidden grottoes. Just a pretty standard menu with some pretty standard options. I did, however, discover that if you order *extra* whipped cream on your Black Forest cake, you get a *mountain* of whipped cream. This is important intel. Trust me on this one. And it's actually a *lot* better. Because who doesn't want a mountain of delicious, sweet whipped cream to go along with their equally delicious and sweet cake? Not me, that's for sure!
